Posted by
Jon :: Dec 29, 2002
Well I finished two different video segments, the beginning of a long line of boring little video thingies. I know they're kind of queer but I'm kind of queer so it sorta makes sense right.
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That's about it, I'm sorry about the lighting if you can't see me well. I really didn't have time to fix everything up. But there will be more, so don't worry.
See ya. |
° It's beginning to look a lot like... Non-denomination Winter Holiday °
Posted by
Jon :: Dec 18, 2002
Yea, so Christmas is almost here and I can't wait to get all my gifts and stuff. This year I was actually able to contribute since I had a job. I HAD a job.
I quit, it's over, I'm done, I'm happy, it's Christmas. That's basically how it's going right now. I saw lots of stuff over the last couple weeks. I didn't write about all of it on here and I feel like updating you guys on my purchases. IT's not so you're jealous, just so I can impress you with my wealth of crap.
Movies I saw:
 Spirited Away
Ahh, this is one of my favorite movies. It follows the story of Chichiro and her adventure through a strange world she encounters when her and her family stumbles into an old amusement park. Not only is the animation amazing but the characters and story are incredibly. It's really an emotional journey because you actually care about Chichiro. It's funny, it's sad and it's worth seeing. Yeah it's a cartoon but it's not just for kids.
 Frida
Frida is about the Mexican artist and her struggles through life after her legs are paralyzed. It's a pretty interesting film and artistically it's spectacular. There are scenes in the film that are composed like Frida's paintings and they are just incredible. The only real problem I have with the film is the clichéd dialogue. The cinematography and the style of the film outweigh it's negatives.
CD's I bought:
 Punch-Drunk Love
I have mixed feelings about this CD. The movie was great, definitely on my top ten of the year but the CD doesn't even come close to the Magnolia soundtracks. The main problem I have with it is that it plays the same song over and over with different versions. You basically listen to the overture seven times. There are some worthwhile tracks though, "Tabla" and "Hands and Feet" are both incredibly dynamic arrangements and "Here we go" soft and almost Beatles-like. Still worth a purchase but don't expect it to sound like either of the Magnolia soundtracks.
That's about all the stuff I bought this week, excluding those Christmas gifts I paid for. Yeah I'm feeling pretty psyched about Christmas, lots of stuff that I could get and I'm ready to be surprised.
I think these little news updates are losing their flare, so I'm going to think of something to complain about. Hmmmm, I could complain about work but that's getting a little trite about now isn't it?
Yeah, I'm bringing out the $5 words here, you better be ready. But what to complain about. I can think of a couple things but not without making enemies of friends. Oh I know something I can tell you guys about, it isn't a complaint though it's more like a uhhh.... good thing? Well it depends on your definition of good.
I got my PSAT's back today, which are practice SAT's. I got a 1170, which I'm told is pretty decent. It was really weird though, the people that get better grades than me and like to brag ended up doing really bad. It's like this is something I can shove in their face when they laugh when I say something stupid. The truth is that school is more about being a little drone than actually being intelligent and learning. I consider myself and intelligent person but I'm not acknowledged for that, people think that I'm dumb because I don't get straight A's. Haha, yeah I guess I did complain. I think I've already discussed this though, so I'm going to leave you here. I'm getting tired right now and I need to go not write stuff on my website.
Catch ya later. |
Posted by
Jon :: Dec 11, 2002
Yeah, here I am. It's almost christmas time, ahhh. My little brother is swearing in the other room, My dad put a sad x-mas light display, and my mom won't tell us what she wants. MMMM I love this Christmas spirit!
I'm quitting my job on thursday, it's going to be great. I'm going in, getting my check, then telling the boss I quit. I'm expecting him to say something like "you know you have to finish the week" and I'm going to say "nope, sorry" and then he's gunna be like "YOU CAN'T DO THAT". Then we'll probably break into song and dance, like last time.
I have been giving my firing some thought though. I have to make a scene, or make everything complete chaos. I'm thinking of stocking things in the wrong places tonight, just to completely screw up everyone. Just a going away present. If I'm lucky my manager that calls me chief, he'll come up to me and say it again. I'll have some fun words for him.
Don't get me wrong, most of the people I work with are pretty nice people but I can't stand them. They don't talk to me and when they do it's with this condescending attitude, like how dare I ask for them help. And sure, it's not hard to stock products, but I don't know where everything is. If I do ask for something is, they sigh, then they go, "it's right over there!". I still thank them, I still give them my (fake)respect but they don't do the same for me. Maybe it's because they've worked there so long, one kid has worked there four years! FOUR YEARS! I'm sorry but that's just sad, stocking at a grocery store is an after school job. Not a job you come to at nine in the morning and leave at five in the afternoon. Even though I think it's pathetic and a bit sad they work there so long, I still act as though I like them because I'm a nice person.
That's one thing I don't understand about people these days, where did all the nice people go. There are so many people complaining(haha) and whining and just being mean that all the nice people are ignored. Whenever I see an old lady, I smile at her. Not because I'm on a pedestal, but because maybe if I smile at her she'll be happy. People I know will go up to elderly woman and swear at them, for no reason. You think it's funny, but when some little prick comes up to you when you're 70 and asks to see your dick you won't be thinking the same thing.
But that's enough for now, don't you want to hear about the crap I do? Not my stupid personal thoughts. Pffft, who comes to a personal webpage to read personal stuff, that's like an online diary, how cliched.
But I don't have time right now, I have to go to the bathroom and my little brother is crying in the other room. Why is life this hectic? Why does it have to be? WHy can't we all just sit home, or go out with friends? Why do I have to know about trigonometry? *sigh* Why?
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Posted by
Jon :: Dec 4, 2002
Well I'm sorry for my absence from my webpage, I haven't had much time lately. School, work, and friends have taken up a lot of time but I'm happy, which makes all that stuff ok. I've finally gotten back into reading too, I'm about halfway through the new book I bought called House of Leaves It's an incredible and frustrating book.
For my site, I'm working on updating the reviews section so that it's easier for me to update it. The reviews will be really short from now on, they'll just contain a synopsis and a paragraph with my opinion. It's nice because I won't have to spend two hours writing the review and creating the graphics for the page.
I'm not sure what to talk about, nothing that interesting has happened in the last couple days. Like I said, I've been hanging out with friends alot and my parents don't complain I'm anti-social anymore, which is nice. I still wish I had some extra time to just sit at home and watch TV though, but that's life I guess. Personally, I think the average teenagers life is way too hectic. Bu i have to go bitchy teacher is kicking me off the computer.
BYE
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Posted by
Jon :: Nov 18, 2002
I'm feeling like a different guy today, definetly a different guy but I can't go into why because my Mom might read this website, I'm not sure. I think she snoopes around on here and reads stuff and doesn't tell me, which is a little low.
Jon's Weekend
Friday Night
-On friday night I worked from 5pm to 8pm at the grocery store, I think I've complained enough about my work so I'll spare you. After work my friends Sean and Emily picked me up to go to the movies. We skipped the movies. We went to Sean's house first and I met his Mom and Emily's brother came over and ate ice cream. After that we rode over to this pool place in Canandaigua. After only one game and all of us really doing horrible we decided to get something to eat. We went to Denny's.
 Denny's
Denny's is a great place for low cost, high quality good. Yep, it sure is.
After Denny's we decided to go back to Sean's and I slept over. It was the best night of my life, we watched movies and went on his computer and just had a lot of fun.
Saturday Afternoon
- After Sean's Mom drove me home I got back on my computer and checked movie times. I've wanted to see Harry Potter for the longest while because I liked the first so much.
 Harry Potter
My parents and I picked up my little brother from his friends house and then drove to Regal Cinemas in Victor(a town). Of course they made this huge fuss about seating and selling tickets there and we had to wait in this long hallway for absolutely no reason. It was worth it though, the movie was similiar to the first in it's pacing and storytelling and I really liked it. My family did not and my little brother bitched about it because he's stupid. After the movies we crossed the street and went to the mall, where I purchased The Lord of the Rings and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
Lord of the Rings
 Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Great stuff here folks.
Sunday
-I worked, it sucked...that's all.
I'm adding an employment journal to the bottom navigation menu soon, it will detail each day I have work and how that day sucked. It'd be nice if they actually paid me decent and if this kid that smells so bad would stop smelling and discover deodorant and toilet paper...but then life would be too easy, right?
Well this is all for now I think it's a pretty damn long post so enjoy that. I'll write one later or update this one with more stuff. I'll see ya later.
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Posted by
Jon :: Nov 7, 2002
I now work at the Honeoye Falls Marketplace and it completely sucks. I'm going to outline a couple reasons for the suckiness as to help you better understand my employment dilemma.
1. Working on Weekends - Friday and Saturday. I, of course tried to change this but was unsuccessful. I tried to talk to my boss but he went in to how he can't just change the schedule, he needs two weeks to change it...ass
2. My Co-worker smells - Ya see, I really wouldn't have a huge problem with this if it wasn't so bad, but it's horrible. I can smell him from the other side of the aisle while I'm stocking food. This kid made my face break out...well I'll explain:
a.Kid smells.
b.I have to breath through my mouth, not nose.
c.After breathing through my mouth my lips chap.
d.I go to the counter and buy chapstick.
e.Chapstick makes the skin around my lips break out.
He's a nice kid and all...but fuck clean yourself, I don't want to smell your B.O and uncleaned ass(nasty huh?).
3.My manager calls me chief - This has to be the most annoying thing of all. Whenever he sees me "Hey chief!", "How's it going chief", "Just go stock those, ok chief?", "Hey chief...get your fingers out of there". It's annoying and I want it to stop, he's also started calling me Sparky.
4.I work too late I work from 5pm to 10pm and that wouldn't be much of a problem,if I didn't have school. But I get home and I don't have any time to do homework or projects, it's bullshit and again my boss won't change it for me. What a fat little bald man.
Yes, I'm whining. I don't care though, I hope the boss reads this and fires me because I dont want to work there anymore. Why can't I do something useful in life..like...write stuff or work at the video store.
I purchased another DVD today, it's an old Japanese movie. I try to educate myself in the finer areas of film so I know what I'm talking about when I go off on a rant about some shitty Vin Diesel movie. Fuck Vin Diesel and his stupid triple X.
This is the movie I bought.
Rashomon
It's about three people that meet unexpectedly in the forest. A pretty woman and her husband, and a thief. The story is told all in flashback, told from different characters perspectives. It's one of the most interesting films I've ever seen because it really delves into the human psyche and how different personalities interpret different things.
That's all for today. See ya. |
° PDL and random linkage °
Posted by
Jon :: Oct 26, 2002
 Punch-Drunk Love
Well last night I saw Punch-Drunk Love Really Really great movie.
I recommend u check this movie out, it was really great because I could relate with it and I think most people can.
Oh, I bought two Criterion Collection DVD's, for people who don't know, Criterion releases classic movies on DVD with lots of features and a better transfer from the original film source. That means that they clean and restore the film it was captured on, then transfer that on to DVD. Most DVD's in Criterions collection have the original widescreen version and not the pan and scan version.
Widescreen: How the film is originally shown in theatres, the screen size is 16:9.
Pan and Scan: Often referred to as Pan and Scam, this screen size is that of a regular television cutting off about half of the original picture size. The screen size is 4:3.
Personally, I think widescreen is the way to go and is the way a movie should be watched. What really sucks though, is that whenever a kids movie is released parents phone in complaining about the "black bars" on the top and bottom of the screen. IT's merely because their television isn't wide to show everything, they'd have to stretch the image to see all of the movie. It's a shame since some studios now release only Pan and Scan version of their movies.
Ok, I'm sorry for getting off on a tangent there, but I felt if I explained it better I'd sound more intelligent. The two movies I bought were Diabolique and 8 1/2 . They werere both revolutionary when they were created, in specific Diabolique.
Well that's my lesson for today, see ya.
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Posted by
Jon :: Oct 20, 2002
I've been not posting for a while, I don't know if it's because of my massive boredom or because I just forgot about it but I've been ignoring my duties as the auteur of this fine website.
Checkout http://www.snowspot.net/hfcrew
It's da most bugginest website ya'll eva did see. Just so you know, the hf crew is a group of people at my school that like to hang out together and get drunk. They can be found at the bottom of steep places like stairs. They call themselves the HF crew, I don't know what it means, heck, I don't even think they know what it means. That's besides the point though, because the HF crew is ghetto. They got mad flava and they know whats going on.
Besides the HF crew I get to work on school....yay. When I'm not busy with school stuff though, I usually turn on Turner Classic Movies. It's really a great TV network, it shows some of the best movies ever made and all this week they're hosting some of the earliest horror movies. I tuned in last night and saw part of the movie FREAKS. IT was made in the 1930's and instead of regular actors in costume they used real sideshow freaks. It's incredibly disturbing even by todays standards. The most disturbing of the characters is probably the man with no arms or legs, it shows him just flopping around on the ground. It's a really really creepy thing to watch, even when it's not supposed to be scary. I can't even imagine how audiences in the 1930's felt while they watched this stuff.
So that's all for now, check out the HF crew site, it's funny and it pisses the HF CREW off. See ya!
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° Ramblin' Jon Martin and his dancing ghetto crew. °
Posted by
Jon :: Sep 22, 2002
Ahh, well I'm completely bored right now, so I've decided to ramble incoherently for a couple minutes, don't worry, I'll be better soon!
So, yeah, school sucks. Isn't it obvious...well, that doesn't make sense but I think if you've ever met a teenager these days that you probably realize how much school has changed. Gone are the days of learning new things or activities to expand your mind. Today it's all about testing and going by the book.
Testing Testing Testing
It's all that matters anymore, it's the only thing school is focused on. You have to take a state test to get your regence diploma. I have taken American Sign Language and the last 2 years I've had to take finals for them. It's insane, why are they testing me on Sign Language?! I wouldn't mind as much if they gave it to us in the beginning of the year to see if it's even worth taking the course. I could probably pass all my regence tests before a day in any of the classes, well maybe not math...I fuckin' suck at math, you have no idea.
Stupid Kids
I hate these kids. They inhabit my classes and leech on to the faults of our school system. They have their special classes where the special ed teachers help them with(do) their school work. They get better grades than I do, not because they're intelligent or know what the hell is going on....but because they have Mrs. Special Ed to look over their shoulder and point out the answers.
I think all the stupid kids should go to stupid classes of their own. They can have a class where they party and get drunk and urinate on each other, while I can be in the smart class and talk to the smart kids and we can invent stuff, like ... penis implants or something, ya know they should make those.
Teachers that don't teach
Oh, these fuckers, don't even get me started on these fuckers.
"Funny" Kids
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm a funny kid but what I mean is "funny" kids. They aren't funny, but everyone laughs at their jokes and the teacher lets them get away with it. They can make jokes about the teachers boobs and the teacher will laugh and the students will laugh. But nooooo, god forbid I make a joke about the teachers dead husband. "That's not funny Jon", "You're a cruel person", that's what they say but you know when they get home and they think about how he's dead they laugh...they all laugh.
**New movie Added*
Di-Bob
It's funny, go watch it.
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Posted by
Jon :: Sep 14, 2002
Christ.... Don't see this movie unless you can stomach it.
 Audition
It's the most disgusting/disturbing movie I've seen in my entire life. It was so nasty in some parts I was almost crying. *shudder*
If you're going to see it, don't read any reviews because the least you know about it the better, just realize that after you see it, you will be scarred for life. I'm going to go cry in my corner, bye.
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° Lack of Updates...Bologna °
Posted by
Jon :: Sep 10, 2002
Sorry for the lack of updates on the page, it's just cause of school and how it ruins my life.
Here's an overview of my classes at school:
1.Film Analysis
-This class is pretty mediocre/ok, some of the kids in it are ok, but it's mostly filled with popular kids that took the class so they didn't have to do any work. We're going to watch stuff from the silent film era, which I guess is cool.
2.American Sign Language III
-This class rocks, the teacher is deaf and that's cool. She's really nice and she doesn't freak out at anyone or get mad. We get to talk all class long and swear out loud.
3.Chemistry
-Um...it's science, and I hate science. Teacher is cool though, but....I fucking hate science.
4.Math: Course III
-Um...Math, pffft. I don't hate math as much as science but I still hate it. Why do I have to know this stuff....I mean,when I get out I'm going to forget it anyway, and it just ruins my GPA cause I suck at it.
Lunch
-I don't eat lunch so it's boring.
5.Social Studies
-This class I like so far, cause instead of actual work we drew pictures and talked about ourselves. We all got to feel special and sung together and felt good about ourselves. Feeling good is feeling, you know...just feel.
6.English 11 Honors
-I really like this class too, we have an eccentric teacher and we might do some actual writing this year, which is encouraging. The honors class has all the nerdy kids though...they're nice, but they make me look bad cause I'm a slacker-esque person.
7.Photo 1
-Ahh fuckin' little people! There is this really small kid in my photo class and I hate him...it's not bad enough that he's small, but he actually acts like a little kid. Maybe he's just some 6th grader that wandered in the class during an assembly.
8.Gym
-*laughs uncontrollably*
Well that's about it for my classes, I figured I'd write something slightly coherent here since people from school might look at it, and I don't want them to go "this kid's a freakin' weirdo" ya know?
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Posted by
Jon :: Aug 31, 2002
Well, school starts in a couple days...and that's a fucking letdown, I can't just sleep all day and I have to start cleaning myself.
Here I made these when I was bored(sorta like deep thoughts):
Once when I was little there was a kid in our class that everyone called "the smelly kid", I stuck up for him all the time and people eventually left him alone, we became friends and grew up together, then when I was on my deathbed and I was about to die he told me that once when we were in highschool he ejaculated in my hat.
If I ever had a farm, I'd buy one emu and 25 chickens. I'd slowly kill all the chickens and pamper the emu. Then one day I'd bring the emu outside and show him that I didn't kill the chickens and that I'd been poisoning his food the whole time.
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Well, weren't those a barrel of funny, I know I'm laughing cause I'm SO HAPPY (puts on Nickelodeon T-shirt).
Ya know what's an abomination to man? That show on Nickelodeon...what's it called....oh yeah, I meant the whole network. All the shows on Nickelodeon(cept for Invader Zim) deserve to have their testicles pulled out with tweezers. What the fuck is this Butt Ugly Maritians bullshit, "it's funny cause they say butt in the title, I have no friends". Oh and another thing, what the hell is that stupid show with the chalk, The chalk zone or something. IT has the most annoying voice acting ever, some woman that sounds like she's choking on something when she's talking.
School...FUCK! *Rips off left arm and replaces it with stick* Call me the stick hand...I fucking dare you.
Can you believe I said testicles? I can't believe it, I'm so over the top. I'm like Jerry Springer times 2, you think I'm gunna stop but I ain't, I'm coming up so you better get this party started and if you don't you're gunna have to talk to me and I don't wanna hear it.
Aight? |
° Banana=Ball in Indian °
Posted by
Jon :: Aug 22, 2002
Ahh life is so boring....boring boring boring, school is starting soon and that will make my life boring and stressful, thank-you whoever created school...probably church people. Since I had nothing better to do I watched this Indian movie that was on one of those pay channels(not the bad ones) which suprisingly I liked alot.
The movie focuses on this guy named Bhuvan, he challenges these British imperialist in a game of cricket, if they lose, the british get their town and land, but if they win the british must leave. It's a really odd movie, there is both English and Indian(Hindu?) in it. There are also a few song numbers that are sparesly seperated between the cricket matches.
When I started watching I had absolutely no idea how to play cricket, but now I know all the rules, it's a great way to learn. The movie is almost 4 hours long, and suprisingly it's never gets boring, whoever edited it did a very good job of keeping the pace fast and the action constant. It has some of the best sports scenes I've ever seen in a movie. Check this movie out, it's really entertaining.
Ya know, my movie recommendations are just getting more and more obscure, maybe I'm going through a phase or something. I really only add the pictures to take up space so I don't have to write as much :-D, if that wasn't obvious already. I think I'm going to enter a cricket league it looks like a hella-fun game, yes HELLA I SAID HELLA!
Bye!
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° Inspector, that chair is broken. °
Posted by
Jon :: Aug 18, 2002
See this movie:
 Victor/Victoria
It's about a woman that has to impersonate a man that is impersonating a woman. It was written by the guy who created the Pink Panther movies and it's hilarious.
Best Line: "Inspector, that chair is broken"
And buy this DVD.
Simpson's: Season 2
The Simpsons evolved alot from the first season when season two started. You'll see the first appearance of the Comic book guy, Nelson's first "haw haw", and Dr. Hibert's first appearance.
Best Feature: The episode commentary. It's great because sometimes you end up laughing simply because the creators are laughing, lots of fun. |
Posted by
Jon :: Aug 9, 2002
Well I'm so bored all the time and that really sucks, you have no idea. Unless you're like me and incredibly bored all the time, I was so bored infact, that I wrote a review for Signs , you can check that out in the writing section of the site. It's the icon up there that looks like a squiggly thingy.
Besides that I've been writing a lot of screenplay stuff, I'd post it here but people'd steal it from my site and claim it as their own stuff and I can't have that happening. I will, however, tell you about the script I wrote and I'll tell you that it involves a rabbit, a rabbit's foot, and a calculator, now if that doesn't just make you wet yourself with anticipation for the movie to be made I don't know what does.
Oh yea, I wanted to complain about something (besides no one posting on the message boards), I'm so sick of Vin Diesel and his stupid crappy movies that do well at the box office, what the hell don't you people have any taste? Just cause he's good-looking doesn't mean that his movie is good. He comes out with a movie that has fast cars and big guns and then it's a hit, is the writing good? No. Can he even act that good? No. Do things get blown up and people get hit with stuff that kills them? FUCK YES! Don't see triple X. Also get your pet spade or nuetered.
PRAISE ALEX CHU, alex chu is a mystery, he is like the wing'ed dove of the earth, like a mystic breeze that clings to your cheeks on a cold day, he is enigma.
here |
° Message board of PAIN! °
Posted by
Jon :: Aug 5, 2002
MUHAHAH I have added a message board....oF PAIN. Well it doesn't hurt that much, but it isn't the prettiest thing. Post on it if you get the chance, cause I need posts, and stuff. Besides that...Um....bye...?
Kitty says die!
Fecal website of the day:http://ricksniche.com/main.html |
Posted by
Jon :: Aug 1, 2002
Mcdonalds Nutritional Facts
 Damn.
This sucks! I ate so much Mcdonald's when I was in NYC, I ate like 5 supersized meals, I didn't know they were this fattening, I could have eaten a tube of crisco and still had calories to spare.
IF you guys get a chance this thursday check out the show Harvey Birdman. It's on Cartoon Network on it's Adult Swim timeblock. It rocks, it's one of the funniest shows I've seen in a while.
 Now do you understand bangin' doesn't pay?
It's based on an old 60's cartoon similiar to SpaceGhost. If you get a chance check it out. It airs at on cartoon network around 11 o'clock.
In other news, I really redesigned the webpage alot, new layout "sorta", 5 new sections (at the bottom), lots of new info, and a shitload of entertainment.
*crosses shitload of his vocabulary sheet*
I'm so bored, it's so boring...I've been sitting around doing nothing for the last couple days, I wish I was in NYC or school had started so I had something to do. I'll tell you about the last couple things I've bought...that's entertaining right?...eh?
Well I bought The Royal Tenenbaums DVD:Criterion Collection. It's pretty sweet though I haven't been able to pay much attention to it, I've seen it twice and it's more of a "show your friends" movie for me now. But I'll probably check it out later this week.
I'm expecting to get a new book in a couple of days, it's called Solaris and it is being made into a "Major Motion PIcture". It's about an astronaut sent to a space station orbiting a planet and weird stuff starts to happen. The movie is going to be released some time in December so I figured I'd read the book before I saw the movie.
Boredom awaits...gotta go. |
° Throw me a figgin' plot here °
Posted by
Jon :: Jul 30, 2002
I was so psyched to go to Austin Powers: Goldmember today. I mean I was really really into going. I got there and I was shaking with anticipation and after the preview of Blue Crush, it started. Two hours later I walked out with a sideways grin on my face. I was happy, because it was funny and entertaining, but the end was just mind-numbing and completely throws away anything that Austin Powers set up in the prequels.
There is absolutely no plot it seems, and that sucks, I was so let down after thinking about what I actually enjoyed in the movie. All the characters were there, and all the trademark jokes were there, but there was no characterization. Yeah, sure, it is a sequel and they developed Austin in the previous movies, but still, it seems like we're thrown in the middle of his adventure.
Foxy Cleopatra (Beyonce Knowles) is the weakest of Austin's sidekicks, not because of Knowles' acting ability, but because the character isn't developed at all. You never learn about her, or where she came from, or why she is helping Austin, a previous relationship is hinted at, but besides that she's a 2-d caricature of a 70's blaxploitation chick. Although I think her acting was very good, and at times I forgot she was anything but an actress.
Goldmember, is an interesting choice for a new character, all we know about him is that he's dutch, eats parts of his own skin, and has a gold "member". We don't know about his past, we don't know why he wants to take over the world, we don't know anything.
The attempts they do make to set up relationships between the characters fail miserably. The hackeneyed attempt at a father-son bonding story fails completely. Michael Cain isn't given much to work with here, his character isn't very funny, and he isn't believeable as Austin's dad. In one scene Austin just comes out and says "Dad you never believed in me" but we never see any evidence of that except he missed Austin's graduation.
There is also alot of subtle touchs missing from the movie. The humor is so "in your face" now. Will Ferral's character does not come back, sadly, they forgot him I guess. Felicity Shagwell (Heather Graham) is gone, not explained what happens. Frau Farbissina is there, but she hardly says anything...it's really irritating, she was one of the best characters from the last movie, and they didn't use her.
Besides all these complaints it was a pretty funny movie, it was more stupid funny this time than intelligent funny, but it still had me laughing albeit not as much.
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Posted by
Jon :: Jul 28, 2002
Well NYC was definetly interesting. Aside from homeless people urinating on themselves, and crazy old white women budging me in line, it was actually pretty fun.
Daily Schedule
1. Wake up at 8:00 am, take a shower, brush teeth, wallow in self-pity, and then go to class.
2. On the way to school I have to dodge beggers as they come at me for change.
3. Arrive at class, teacher arrives 5-10 minutes late, the class sits in complete silence as we stare at each other.
4. Teacher arrives, asks us questions, we answer questions, then the teacher goes out for a smoke, again the class stares at each other.
5. Teacher gets back from smoking, asks us to do things, we do them, the teacher comments on them as I roll my eyes.
6. The first half of class ends. Teacher leaves abruptly brandishing a bottle of Jack Daniels and a devilish smirk.
7. Me and my filmmaking group, go to a random fast food restaurant, I have a burger and fries. We eat and talk and the air is filled with akward silence.
8. We go back to class. Teacher again arrives late. A staring contest ensues. Teacher arrives, we watch a movie, a really boring movie. The people in the movie speak a different language. They get naked for no reason and then they have sex. After that they play basketball naked.
9. We watch a short film, teacher says he likes it, it is foreign , it has more boobs and penis's and it has a goat that kills people when it stares at them.
10. Class ends, walk back to dorms. Man tries to sell me purse. I run away and get to my room. I take a shower then sleep.
11. I wake up at about 6:49pm, Decide to find friends to go to dinner with, look for friends, friends are gone, decide to go alone, take elevator down.
12. British girl in elevator goes on about trousers and football. I laugh at her when she leaves, she turns and asks "What tar you going on about?" I just nod as if I understand.
13. On the way to my fast food paradise, I see my friend, she is with another person, I say hi, and she says bye and then I goto dinner.
14. Guy at Wendy's asks my order, I tell him, I take food back to room, he got my order wrong. I curse him aloud. People bang on the walls to stop screaming, I curse them too....I curse them too.
15. After dinner I lay down and watch The Golden Girls , B. Arthur rocks. The Lady knocks on my door to get my signature for curfew. She gives me weird looks and slowly gyrates her hips, I close the door.
16. At 1:00 am I hear people in the hall, my friend is now drunk, I bring her to her room and she sleeps. I go back to my room and sleep.
Well my family is being dysfunctional right now so I'll have more stories later.
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Posted by
Jon :: Jul 4, 2002
Well tommorow I'm leaving and this'll be the last post for a while. While I'm there I'll be chillin' with my homedawgs and gettin' magnet wit da monies. So I guess this is goodbye...for now. Oh and check out that little flash thing that I made, u can get to it on the splash page , it took me a while but isn't really that entertaining :-p bye now.
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Posted by
Jon :: Jul 1, 2002
Damn, I can't believe dis shit, I'm going to da big muthafuckin' apple on FriDIZZZZZZZZZZay. It's gunna be off the hook,damn. Before dat I'll just be ballin' in big NYC looking for hunnies and some rump to pump, ya know wha' mean? I mean damn, dis one muthfucka I now stole my muthafuckin cornbread...yo, if you see a black man and his cornbread, you must step da fuck off. Step dat muthafuckin' foot of ma' muthfuckin grill. AIGHT?!
I'm going to NYC for film school and these are the 3 things we'll be doing there.
Screenwriting:- For this we finally get to learn how to tell a good story, although I already know for the most part because I read books about it and stuff, it'll be really interesting to hear a different perspective.
Directing:- Dis' Shit...oh sorry, for this we basically get to learn lighting, and what looks good versus what looks bad. I really can't wait to take this part of the course there, it's going to help me decide if I want to be in film or not.
Editing:- I think I'll be the best at this out of all 3, go check out my video section for an example of my editing skills. Well I think they're good anyway.
Well I'm going this friday, and barring any new terror attacks on NYC, I'll be back in 3 weeks. If you're not an American or Israeli you have no idea how much it sucks to be afraid to go places. Ya know, when I'm drinking my latte and listening to my Shakira I'm quite scared that any moment a man strapped to a megaton bomb will come walking in the room. As I sit in my hot tub and watch my MTV I realize that in a split second all of this could be gone. Seriously though, it's scary shit, and if you see a terrorist rip out both of his eyes and stick them up his ass. Then he can see what he makes the future of our world look like.
Buy a gun, kill a terrorist!
Now how could this idea possibly have sounded good to anyone? 
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Posted by
Jon :: Jun 30, 2002
Aaminal005100: Hey, John told me that you wanted to see pics of me and my TEEN friends? Cum see us at having an AWESOME TIME!! Oh we are being SO naughty hehe Love ya Trin
SonofBiznit: John lied a horrible LIE!!!!!
Not much going on right now, but I did add an editorial section to the writing section. The first editorial is over there right now. It's pretty cool and I'm going to continue it.
One fun story. I was at the drive-in today and I went to the bathroom, and since the latrine things where you stand-up weren't open I went to one of the stalls. I went in and shut the door and turned around, only to see that not only has the toilet not been flushed but that someone had defecated not in the toilet...but right next to it. These people need to be shot, honestly. You shouldn't be allowed in public if you can't even get it in the toilet.
**I added another editorial because I was so bored, you can check it out in the writing section. Go looky
***I have a new affiliate Xcapped, very nice looking site, almost as good looking as mine ;) but very good. Go there has lots of content. Neato.
****Rego from Mobius Factor took me off the buddy sites..wtf. Dom is cool. That is all.
You'd think people would be smart enough not to put stuff like this on the front page of their site.
 IT'LL BE TERRORTASTIC!
Well that's all for today, I'm continuing to completely revamp all the pages on the site to make them look better and make them easier to access. I'm so bored, so goddamn bored. Oh, I added an editorial to the writing section about eh pledge of allegiance crap, hopefully people won't agree with me and send me e-mails...I NEVER GET E-MAILS!
See ya.
 -New Affiliate Added X-capped |
Posted by
Jon :: Jun 26, 2002
**Update**-The reviews section is now the writing section.
Well, I've really got nothing to talk about since my life has been so completely boring in the last week... It's only been a week away from school and I'm already incredibly bored. I don't know if that's good or bad.
-Good I miss my schedule and being with my friends more often.
-Bad School has turned me into a mindless zombie that instead of a relenting hunger for brains I have a hunger for knowledge. Damn you lunchroom propaganda posters, DAMN YOU.
Well, since I've got nothing else to do but get some pictures off amazon.com I'll show you the last two DVD's I bought.
Mr. Show with Bob and David
I can't express how great this dvd is, just go out and buy it. It's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen and I can't wait for season 3 and 4 to come out. I recommend it! Just get it! Just freaking get it! *passes out but fingers continue to type*
Sex and the City: The First Season
I've always loved the show on HBO and now I have it on DVD forever! JOY!!!!! Although every episode pretty much follows the same story arc it's still fun to watch it since all the actors are pretty likeable.
Well that's all, it's super duper late and I'm sorta tired.
Mystery Quote: "Some call me....Tim?" |
° If Only I had a peice of bologni °
Posted by
Jon :: Jun 20, 2002
Well school is over now and soon I'm going to NYC for film school stuff. It'll be pretty sweet, while we're there we make a short film. If the film turns out to be any good I'll post it on this site under the art section, then you can see how well I grip the camera.
Well I'm bored, so here are some quotes from movies, music, other stuff that I happen to *dig*:
1.Zim: I have had enough of your nonsense...from your smelly mouth...filled with.....CORN!!!
Dib: I haven't been eating corn
Zim: LIAR!!!!
-Invader Zim
2.Fuck you, too! Don't call me "lady"! I come in here, I give these things to you, you check, you make your phone calls, look suspicious, ask questions! I'm sick! I have sickness all around me and you fucking ask me about my life?! "What's wrong?" Have you seen death in your bed? In your house? Where's your fucking decency? And then I'm asked fucking questions. What's...wrong?! You suck my dick! That's what's wrong! And you, you fucking call me "lady"?! Shame on you! Shame on you!! Shame on both of you!
-Magnolia
3.It's a Zen thing, like how many babies fit in a tire.
-Waiting for Guffman
4.Don't you hate pants?
-The Simpsons
5.And there's no mystical desire, no cosmic lover preassigned, there's nothing you can find that cannot be found.
-Hedwig and the Angry Inch
6.I'm somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they'll all like me. I'll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It's a reason to get up in the morning. It's a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It's a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I'm alone. Your father's gone, you're gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I'm lonely. I'm old.
-Requiem For A Dream
And that's all of them for right now, I wanted to find somemore but I just don't have the time or willpower. I however, do have one quote that will be mine for the rest of time and no one can take it, NO ONE!
-It's like I'm the pope and I have that big hat, and when I bend over to pick things up, I poke people and I say sorry but I meant to poke them.
-Jon Martin
I should make that a T-shirt or something, or make a book of quotes by me. I'll write stuff like, "A cat may bite you, but when it bites you it leaves the back of it's head open for attack" and "If the cream is seperated from the corn, the corn is no longer creamed". Damn, I'm going to go write those down! |
° Can I borrow your X-box controller and not invite you to come to my house because I'm not a good friend? °
Posted by
Jon :: Jun 14, 2002
Well, boredom has brought me back to my lovely webpage. School has ended, but not really, at my school. We still have final exams and they get a whole special week!!!!
Ahh, this week has been filled with delights-a-plenty. I went out to lunch 4 times out of 5 days, which was nice. While at lunch I had a burger and fries, they tasted very nice. The only problem is that the cook, which is visible from where I sit, constantly glares at me. She's one of those angry lesbian ladies. The kind that have a mullet and when you talk to them they grunt. Nothing against lesbians here though, no, nothing against lesbians.
I seriously need to get a hobby besides internet/web design shiznit. I am, however, working on a new movie that will be viewable sometime soon. I realized that if I concentrate on doing work, I'm not bored anymore, hence the new movies I'm producing at breakneck speed. It's like I'm the pope and I have that big hat, and when I bend over to pick things up, I poke people and I say sorry but I meant to poke them. The new movie is going to be akward situations 2. I created the first one, but I guess I forgot to put it on my webpage since it had some...erm...racey stuff in it. It'll be put up when I finish the sequel though...cause you'd be totally lost without the first one. The story is what makes it so funny, it's pretty well written for a flash movie. You'll see when I upload it.
That's all for now, it's late. See ya 5 people that come here.
President Bush's spellbinding speech had the audience entranced until he asked where all the Japanese people were.
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Posted by
Jon :: Jun 11, 2002
I was in the news, the honeoye falls news. I'm a star. |
Posted by
Jon :: Jun 7, 2002
Life is so boring here in upstate NY, you have no idea. There is nothing to do, cept for the tractor-pulls and the occasional country music concert. I'm thinking of making some new movies for the site, since my boredom has reached an all-time high. I'm just having problems thinking of things to make. It's probably just because my brain is overloaded from studying for exams. NO, SCHOOL HAS NOT ENDED FOR ME. It fucking sucks.
*ATTENTION RANT APPROACHING*
I mean, some of my teachers should not be teaching. My science teacher for example; he CANNOT teach, he's the worst teacher I've ever had. His classes are 50 minute lectures, where he goes off on "tangents" his personal stories about him and science.
"Well once when I was dissecting a frog one of my friends, who is a doctor, pointed out it had 2 stomachs."
So the rest of the class he talks about abnormalities in frogs or some other bullshit that doesn't pertain to anything we are learning about. Thing is, he won some stupid award for being a great teacher because he's worked at our school for forever. Our school system is just getting worse and worse since the teacher shortage. Instead of weeding out these senile old men the school keeps them because they've been here a long time, not only lowering the grade point average for that class but also lowering our score avg on state tests. I hear all this complaining that Japan and Germany or whatever do better on standardized testing than we do, and it makes me sick. The U.S. needs to realize that it's the teacher's faults for this, if the teachers did their jobs well students would be interested and therefor might actually try. Japan does well because getting a good education is the most important thing in their society, which is great, but I'm sure it's also because they have teachers that give a damn and are paid well for their jobs.
Maybe teachers don't try because of a lack of motivation, their salaries are a joke. Making 30-35 k a year is a joke considering the hours they work and how many people depend on them. The school system has turned into a communist regime, how can teachers be promoted? Do they get more money for trying harder or being a better teacher? They don't. Until this changes the school system will get worse and worse.
*ATTENTION RANT HAS ENDED*
Well, now I feel better. School ends next friday, and I can't wait. No more waking up at 6 o'clock in the morning. Ahh summer, stay up till 2 sleep until 12, it's a plan that can't fail.
Update: New movie in animation section. Deep Questions: Substitute teachers.
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° Learner's Permit XXX TO HOT FOR TV XXX °
Posted by
Jon :: Jun 5, 2002
The lady that took my pictures asked if she could have a copy and I said yes. Did you guys have to get a physical for your driving test too?
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° Welcome Back Kotter(Jon)...? °
Posted by
Jon :: Jun 1, 2002
OMG I'm BACK!!!!! I've been gone for forever!!! My stupid host didn't get my check on time and I've been down for weeks...damn. Anyway, absolutely nothing happened while I was gone. Oh, I can update you on some of me stuff though.
-The movie script I'm writing is finally taking form and one of these days(couple dozen) it'll be finished. Soon I'm going to post a summary of what it's about, then you can marvel at my irreverence and social commentary!!!
-The portfolio that I started working on in the beginning of the year is here . It's a freaking huge file, but if you sit back, get some popcorn and just enjoy the total entertainment experience, I think you'll like it.
-Yesterday I got Ice Cream and it was really good.
So that's about it. I'm going to post some funny stuff later, because frankly I'm too tired right. I've been sitting here day in and day out pondering my existence and whether me being here even matters. If there is a god why doesn't he show himself, if there isn't a god why are we here? Or how is the better question. Were we planted here by aliens as some sort of biological experiment and will live oblivious to it till the day they decide to end the experiment? Will Family Guy ever come back?
Hey check this out Deja vu ny old site, still up...can ya believe it? |
Posted by
Jon :: May 3, 2002
Ahh and I'm finally back, I was gone because I didn't really feel like posting on here for a while. Ya see, my dog died and I had him since I was 5 years old and it was the most depressing thing I've went through in my entire life *seriously*. But I've gotten over it and I'm ready to post on here now...yes!
Hmm, oh yeah. I'm thinking of adding a caption category to the menu at the top..It's up there *points up* the captions will be for different pictures, probably political or something. IF the captions end up not being funny I'll take them down and spare you from my retarded sense of humor.
After an hour of searching president Bush finally got up the courage to ask King Abdullah of Jordan and President Pastrana of Colombia if they'd seen his nerf football.
Fun Quote of the day!
"It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore ... Unless you want to, you know."
Mike Tyson to a female reporter.
Listening to:
Simon-Phantom Planet
My condolences go out to anyone that has succumbed to religion. Religion is the biggest problem in our world today. If it wasn't for religion, most wars would not have been fought. I just don't get why people don't realize that it's a fable. Whoever wrote the Bible would be extremely wealthy today, not only has he managed to have people worship a fictional being but also mindwash the masses.
...Just kidding! |
Posted by
Jon :: May 1, 2002
| Sorry I haven't been posting lately, my dog died. I had him since I was 5 and it was very depressing.. That's all for now. |
Posted by
Jon :: Apr 24, 2002
My head really hurts, which makes it hard for me to spend time on creating a thoughtful and inciteful post.
Ya know, now I'm back from hawaii I can update this page more, and you know what that means? Not only will I have more posts, but the posts will have less meaning and my existence will fade into a void of useless absurdity. Sort of like that show Moesha, the writing on that show was so brilliant when it started. Brandy was just starting out as an actress, building her music career with her and Monica's hit "the boy is mine". The show was "The Hugley's" of it's time, breaking boundries and becoming a staple in the 4:30 am time slot for the WB network. But the writing became old and brandy became bored with the series.
Also... I'm hooked on a feeling |
Posted by
Jon :: Apr 14, 2002
I'm in hawaii.
*Imagine a fat man sitting here*
Html code not working.
First day: I went to the airport got on, watched Harry Potter...YAY. We got on another plane and we went to Los Angeles where we had to board another plane. We got there, where I bought Mc'donalds. Then we went to board the next plane. A huge fat man boarded also. He smelled really bad. He sat next to a woman in 3 rows in front of us, I could smell him. The woman next to him was as close to the window of the place as possible, poor lady. That flight was awesome, there were little screens attached to each seat, I got to watch Latana(**1/2) and Amelie (***1/2), it was pretty cool I must say.
After that we got off at about 10:00 hawaiian time, which is 4:00 am NY time. I was really freaking tired. So, we went to rent a car, and the lady said my dad wasn't allowed to because of security reasons...BULLSHIT. So we just had my mom order it, which was a waste of time, but we got our car anyway.
I'll try to come here tommorow and tell you some more of my crazy adventures in Hawaii.
*this was not prof read becasuse of not enough tyme.*(- |
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